THE JOHNNY AMERICAN CONCEPT ALBUM

by GOODBYE THE BAND

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1.

about

Recorded in 2001, when I was a student of the high schools.

Download includes track list art from original CDR, alternate cover for CMYK guitar lovers, and some photos.

Produced by JOHNNY AMERICAN in an incredibly lo-fi fashion. Remastered in 2017 so the bass drum samples are audible.

Available as one track because this is a "concept album" and you are supposed to listen to it all at once. For your convenience, you can split up the FLAC.

Thanks to Spencer Owen, Matthew Rowe, R. Jethwa, Nikhil Rao, J. Erianne, J. Axelrod, and Alexandra Ackerman.

“GTB’s music is unfailingly superb. … [What] is vividly on display here is boundless creativity, a willingness to try anything, an insanely eclectic range of influences (everyone from Zappa to Beefheart to Beck, Ween and Talking Heads seems to have had a hand in siring this puppy) and a disregard for pop conventions.” – Jim Santo (RIP Demo Universe).

"Kill your sons." - Lou Reed

credits

released October 19, 2001

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about

Goodbye The Band New Jersey

Goodbye The Band is a collaboration between one human and a computer.

Thanks to Spencer, Morgan, Michael, Julia, Jamie, KE.

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Track Name: igottoomanyarrows&nowheretogo–HALOGENBRAINMONSTERsnaredrumbassdrumkidBARCODESOULbrianeno…EXACTLYBACKTOyourhairisreallyprettyDOYOUREALLYWANNAREALLYpouncehowto25/17stickschewinggumSILKSCREENCHICKENheaintheavy…MYHEADSAYS1THINGBUTMYHEARTHASSTOPPEDthesmallwoodswhereimetmyselfLALALALAlivewirechomp–DEADgo
1 I GOT TOO MANY ARROWS AND NOWHERE TO GO

MODERN LIFE IS SO CONFUSING. YEAH.

MODERN LIFE IS SO ABUSING. YEAH.

MODERN LIFE IS SO ACCUSING.
YEAH.

MODERN LIFE IS NEVER CHOOSING.
YEAH.

MODERN LIFE IS ALWAYS PERUSING.
YEAH.

MODERN LIFE IS ALWAYS BRUISING.
YEAH.
YEAH.

2. HALOGEN BRAIN MONSTER

IODINE FEELS OH SO VERY FINE
WHEN YOU PUT IT IN YOUR WINE
AND TAKE A LITTLE SIP-SIP.
LOVE IS GREAT,
BUT SOMETIMES IT FILLS YOU WITH HATE.
AND THEN YOU FEEL LIKE A DIP.

EVERY YOUNG GIRL WANTS TO BE LOVED,
AND TO BE TOLD SHE IS PRETTY.
SHE WANTS A WONDERFUL HUSBAND,
NOT ONE THAT IS SHITTY.
AND EVERY BOY IS LIVING A DREAM LIFE,
AND DOING ANYTHING HE WANTS.
YOU BETTER RUN AWAY FROM THAT BOY
WHEN HE’S OUT ON ONE OF HIS HAUNTS.

OH NO! IT’S THE HALOGEN BRAIN MONSTER.
HE HAS A RECORD OUT,
YOKO ONO PRODUCED IT.
OH NO! IT’S YOKO ONO.
OH MAN, SHE’S REALLY FUCKED-UP.

SALT WILL MAKE YOU COME TO A HALT.
DON’T WORRY, HONEY, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
JUST LET THE GOOD STUFF DRIP,
DRIP RIGHT IN. WE CAN GO FOR A SPIN.

EVERY YOUNG GIRL WANTS TO BE LOVED,
AND TO BE TOLD SHE IS PRETTY.
SHE WANTS WONDERFUL CHILDREN,
NOT UGLY ONES WITH BRAIN DAMAGE.
AND EVERY BOY IS LIVING IN HIS OWN WORLD,
HE FUCKS HIMSELF ALL THE TIME.
AND YOU KNOW THAT IF HIS PARENTS FOUND OUT,
WELL, THEN HE’D BE COMMITTING A CRIME.

OH NO! IT’S THE HALOGEN BRAIN MONSTER.
HE’S BROKEN OUT OF JAIL TO COME STEAL YOUR SOUL.
OH NO! IT’S THE HALOGEN BRAIN MONSTER.
HE’S TURNING ALL THE BOYS IN TO MEN.
OH NO! IT’S THE HALOGEN BRAIN MONSTER.
HE’S MAKING ALL THE LITTLE GIRLS BLEED.
OH NO! IT’S THE HALOGEN BRAIN MONSTER.
YOU’D BETTER WATCH YOUR STEP.
YOU’D BETTER GET SOME PEP.
OR, A PAP SMEAR.

3. SNARE DRUM BASS DRUM KID

WHEN I WAS YOUNG I WAS PART OF THE CROWD.
NOW I FEEL SO STUPID, I TOTE IT AROUND.
IN COLLEGE I SMOKED WEED & DID SOME SMACK.
A FUTILE ATTEMPT TO GET THIS THING OFF MY BACK.

NOW I’VE GOT A BASS DRUM!
I’VE GOT A SNARE DRUM!
I’VE GOT A KID!

WHEN I WAS YOUNG MY MOTHER WENT AWAY–MY
FATHER BECAME A DRUNK & BEAT ME INSANE.
I COULDN’T FIND ANYONE WHO UNDERSTOOD HOW I FELT.
NOW MY SEARCH IS OVER & I’VE GOT A STICK AND A BELT.

I’VE GOT A BASS DRUM!
I’VE GOT A SNARE DRUM!
I’VE GOT A KID!
I’VE GOT A BASS DRUM!
I’VE GOT A SNARE DRUM!
I’VE GOT A KID!

4. BAR CODE SOUL

UH! IT’S YOUR FATE
TO GO OUT ON A DATE
WITH A NICE YOUNG MAN
WIELDING A FRYING PAN
HE HAS A DEATH WISH OR TWO
AND HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU
HE WANTS TO FATHER YOUR KIDS
HE WANTS TO SUCK ON YOUR TITS

BUT SUCH A PARADISE
COMES WITH A HEAVY PRICE
AND THAT PRICE
IS YOUR BRAND NEW LAWNMOWER
AND THAT PRICE
IS YOUR BRAND NEW SATELLITE DISH
AND THAT PRICE
IS YOUR BRAND NEW LEAF BLOWER
AND THAT PRICE
IS YOUR COPY OF ‘KADISH’

UH! IT’S YOUR PROBLEM
THAT YOU HAVE TO SOLVE
IF YOU DO NOT FIGURE IT OUT
YOU WILL NOT BE ABSOLVED
AND YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH OR TWO
WHAT’S A YOUNG WOMAN TO DO?
WHEN SHE IS STUCK IN A CAR
WITH OUT A CD PLAYER?
NO ONE TO LOVE EXCEPT
A BRUTAL CHILD SLAYER.

SHE’S GONNA FUCK OUT!
OH YEAH SHE’S GONNA FUCK RIGHT OUT!
SHE’S GONNA FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT OUT!
FUCK-FUCK, RIGHT-RIGHT OUT!
ALL RIGHT, ALL NIGHT NOW,
FUCK RIGHT OUT, ALL NIGHT OUT!
ALL RIGHT, FUCK RIGHT, NIGHT FUCK,
FUCK, FUCK, NIGHT OUT!

5. B.E. IS A VERY BAD MAN

B.E. IS A VERY BAD MAN.
KEEP YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIS HANDS;
HE JUST MIGHT TREAT THEM.
B.E. IS A VERY BAD MAN.
HE’S ALWAYS SINGING FAR AWAY.
SO FAR AWAY FROM ME, SINGING:
“I FOUND MY GIRLFRIEND SHOT IN MY BED.
I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE GOT THERE
AND I CAN’T FIND HER HEAD.”
B.E. IS A VERY BAD MAN.
AND HE’S ALWAYS GOT A FRYING PAN.
WATCH OUT FOR THAT KNOB!
YOU CAN’T REACH THAT KNOB!
I CAN’T REACH THAT KNOB!
HE’S GOT A FRYING PAN.

5. B.E. IS A VERY BAD MAN

B.E. IS A VERY BAD MAN.
KEEP YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIS HANDS;
HE JUST MIGHT TREAT THEM.
B.E. IS A VERY BAD MAN.
HE’S ALWAYS SINGING FAR AWAY.
SO FAR AWAY FROM ME, SINGING:
“I FOUND MY GIRLFRIEND SHOT IN MY BED.
I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE GOT THERE
AND I CAN’T FIND HER HEAD.”
B.E. IS A VERY BAD MAN.
AND HE’S ALWAYS GOT A FRYING PAN.
WATCH OUT FOR THAT KNOB!
YOU CAN’T REACH THAT KNOB!
I CAN’T REACH THAT KNOB!
HE’S GOT A FRYING PAN.

6. EXACTLY BACK TO

WHAT I WAS SAYING
WHAT WAS I SAYING
I WAS WHAT SAYING
SAYING WHAT I WAS
EXACTLY BACK TO...

A RETURN TO FORM.
INHALING CHLOROFORM.
SHAPELESS.
A RETURN TO FORM.

WHAT WAS I DOING
DOING WHAT I WAS
WAS DOING WHAT I
WAS DOING I WHAT
EXACTLY BACK TO...

A RETURN TO PORN.
RECIEVING SCORN.
HORNY.
A RETURN TO PORN.

THAT JINGLE IS THE CHANGE IN MY POCKET.
THAT JINGLE IS THE CHANGE IN MY POCKET.
AND THE SMILE ON YOUR FACE IS
ALL THE CHANGE IN THE WORLD.
THAT JINGLE IS THE CHANGE IN MY POCKET.
THAT JINGLE IS THE CHANGE IN MY POCKET.
AND YOUR HAND IN MINE IS
ALL THE CHANGE IN THE WORLD.
ALL THE CHANGE THE WORLD NEEDS.
THAT JINGLE IS THE CHANGE IN MY POCKET.
THAT JINGLE IS THE CHANGE IN MY POCKET.
AND THAT QUIET FEELING IS
ALL THE CHANGE IN THE WORLD.
THAT JINGLE IS THE CHANGE IN MY POCKET.
THAT JINGLE IS THE CHANGE IN MY POCKET.
AND US AT PEACE IS ALL THE CHANGE IN THE WORLD.
ALL THE CHANGE THE WORLD NEEDS.

7. YOUR HAIR IS REALLY PRETTY

I DON’T HAVE NO FEELINGS
‘CAUSE I DON’T HAVE NO SKIN
I DON’T HAVE ANY THOUGHTS
‘CAUSE I DON’T HAVE NO MIND
BUT YOU’RE LOOKING AT ME LIKE
I’VE SOMETHING TO SAY
SO, BABY, YOUR HAIR IS REALLY PRETTY

8. DO YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY?

AUGH, HONEY, DO YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY
DO YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY WANNA?
AUGH, MY DARLIN’, DO YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY
WANNA – DO YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY WANNA?
AUGH, DARLIN, DARLIN, DARLIN. AUGH! HONEY.
AUGH! AUGH, OH, WHAAAAA, OH HONEY!
HONEY, HONEY, HONEY, BABY, AUGH! AUGH!
UH, DO YOU REALLY WANNA? REALLY WANNA, WANNA?
OH, HONEY, AUGH, HONEY! AUGH-AUGH! GET IT!
WHIP IT ON DOWN, HONEY, AUGH-AUGH?
REALLY WANNA REALLY? REALLY! OH, HONEY!
REALLY WANNA REALLY. OH, HONEY! WANNA? REALLY!
REALLY! REALLY! AUGH, AUGH, AUGH, HONEY!
HONEY-HONEY-HONEY, REALLY? REALLY? WANNA?
OH, HONEY! GODDAMN, HOT DAMN! OH, HONEY!
WANNA? DO YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY WANNA?
HUH-HUH! DO YOU WANNA-WANNA, REALLY-REALLY?

“I WANNA SLIP MY TUBESTEAK INTO YOUR SISTER.
I WANNA SLIP MY TUBESTEAK INTO YOUR SISTER.” – FMJ

HONEY, AUGH, HONEY, WANNA REALLY, REALLY?
OH, MY BABY! YEAH, HONEY, C’MON, NOW!
WORK IT LIKE YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY!
WORK IT ON DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, HONEY! AUGH,
MY LOVELY CHILD! WOMAN-CHILD! AUGH, HONEY!
OHH, HONEY! TURN IT ON-ON. YEAH, YEAH,
TOUCH IT! REALLY NOW! REALLY WANNA REALLY?
YEAH, I REALLY WANNA REALLY. DO YOU REALLY?
REALLY-WANNA-REALLY? YEAH. MINT CONDITION!
HONEY, HONEY, OH BABY, AUGH! AUGH!
UH, DO YOU REALLY WANNA? REALLY WANNA-WANNA?
YEAH-YEAH-YEAH, TURN-IT-ON. AUGH!
WHOA-OH-OH, OOH-OOH, YEAH, YEAH, UH-HUH.
HONEY-HONEY. DRIP-DRIP. DAMN-DAMN.
GODDAMN-GODDAMN. BRILLIANT! LOVELY! YEAH-YEAH.
I LOVE IT! I NEED IT! I HOPE IT’S GOOD TO YOU!
‘CAUSE IT’S SO GOOD TO ME! YEAH, LICK IT ON OFF!
AUGH-AUGH, HONEY! WHOA-OH, WHAAAAAA-OH! WHA?
YEAH, DO YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY? I REALLY. YEAH.
DJA-DJA-DJA. OH, YEAH. UH-HUH. RIGHT ON. WRITE OFF.
HUNKY-HUMPY. YEAH, IT WORKS NICE. TWICE A DAY.
OH MY HONEY DARLING. YEAH. IT’S TRUE-TRUE.
IT’S NEVER TOO BLUE. YEAH, YEAH, HONEY, HONEY.
STOMACH CHURNING, LEGS BURNING, HAPPY SMILES.
DJA-DJA-DJA. OH, REALLY, REALLY. I WANNA REALLY.
REALLY! NOW, I REALLY WANNA REALLY.
DO YOU REALLY WANNA REALLY? ‘CAUSE I REALLY,
REALLY WANNA REALLY. YOU TOO? GOOD. SO WE
CAN REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY,
REALLY, REALLY. BUT IN THE MEANTIME,

I WANNA SLIP MY TUBESTEAK INTO YOUR SISTER.
I WANNA SLIP MY TUBESTEAK INTO YOUR SISTER.
ALL RIGHT, NOW!

9. POUNCE HOW TO 25

POUNCE!
HOW TO?
TWENTY-FIVE.
POUNCE!
HOW TO?
TWENTY-FIVE.

PROTO-PUNK MACHINE CRANKIN’ OUT THE BIG HITS
PAPA’S IN THE GARAGE, FUCKIN’ UP SOME SHIT
AND IN A TOWN ACROSS THE WAY
IS A MAN WHO CAN TOTALLY PLAY
ALL THE SONGS IN A BRAND NEW STYLE
WHEN YOU HEAR THEM
YOU’LL DEFINITELY SMILE

HIS NAME IS POUNCE! (OOH OOH)
HE’S RAD, YOU’LL LOVE HIS STYLE.
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
HE’S AN ARTIST, KNOWS HOW TO WIN YOU OVER
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
THAT’S WHAT HE DOES, POUNCES, WITH HIS INTELLECT!
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
HE’S THE AXE-MAN, WATCH OUT, FOR HIS KILLER LICKS!

BROKEN DRUM MACHINE CAN NEVER STAY ON BEAT
WATCH THE MAN IN THE OVERCOAT, HE’S PACKIN’ HEAT
AND IN A TOWN OH-SO-WILD
AS THE BIRD FLIES, ABOUT TWENTY-FIVE MILES
AWAY FROM HERE IS A REALLY COOL GUY
WHEN HE PLAYS HIS GUITAR
THERE WILL BE TEARS IN YOUR EYES

HIS NAME IS POUNCE! (OOH OOH)
HE’S RAD, YOU’LL LOVE HIM, FUCK HIS BRAINS OUT.
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
HE’S A GENIUS!
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
A BONAFIDE GENIUS!
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
AXE-A-MILLION!
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
HIS NAME IS POUNCE!
P-P-P-POUNCE!

10. 17 STICKS CHEWING GUM

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
I DON’T WANNA GIVE IT OVER AGAIN
NO ONE WANTS TO GIVE IT OVER AGAIN
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK

NO ONE IS TIRED, NO ONE WANTS TO GO HOME
NO ONE WANTS TO VISIT THEIR COOKING QUEEN
WHO ACTS LIKE A HANDY SCREEN
TO FEED FLIES TO YOUR DEVOURING EYES

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
I DON’T WANT TO GIVE IT OVER AGAIN
NO ONE WANTS TO EVER GIVE IT OVER AGAIN
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK

EVERYONE’S GOT LEPROSY FROM THE STREET VENDOR
HE’S TAKING OH-SO-MUCH TIME TO RENDER THOSE GRAPHICS
ENOUGH TIME TO MAKE YOU SICK!

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
I DON’T WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY AGAIN
NO ONE WANTS TO JOIN THE ARMY AGAIN
FUCK, FUCK.

EVERYONE’S GOT LOVE TO GIVE TO THEIR SUITCASE
AND THEIR SUITCASE WILL BRACE THEMSELVES FOR THE MACE
WHICH WILL ARRIVE IN AN ALUMINUM CASE
WHICH DECLARES IT WILL RIP OFF YOUR FACE

WITH A BRILLIANTLY DESIGNED MASK OF LACE
SO THE FIGHT OVER RACE WILL DISSOLVE
AT A QUICKENED PACE
IT WILL DISAPPEAR WITHOUT A TRACE ‘CAUSE

I DON’T WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY AGAIN
I DON’T WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY AGAIN
I DON’T WANT TO GIVE IT OVER AGAIN
I DON’T WANT TO GIVE IT OVER AGAIN

11. SILKSCREEN CHICKEN

ANDY WARHOL WAS A SUPER-FAGGOT,
HE’D PROBABLY SUCK ANY COCK.
BUT HE SPONSORED THE VELVET UNDERGROUND,
AT LEAST HE KNEW HOW TO ROCK.
IT’S A SHAME THAT HE GOT SHOT.
THEY LEFT HIM THERE SO LONG,
THAT HIS BRAIN STARTED TO ROT.
MAYBE IT WAS THE BULLET,
MAYBE IT WAS THE POT,
BUT ANDY WAS NEVER THE SAME.

HE KEPT PAINTING PICTURES, IN VARIOUS WAYS.
SILKSCREEN, SOMETIMES,
SOMETIMES HE’D PISS
ON THE CANVAS.
I DON’T KNOW WHY.
ANDY WARHOL WAS A REAL STRANGE GUY.

HE WAS PAINTING TILL THE DAY HE DIED,
TILL THE DAY THE SURGEON REMOVED HIS HEART.
HE HAD EVEN PAINTED A FAUX-RORSCHACH TEST,
AND PROBABLY SOME PICTURES OF A WOMAN’S BREAST.
THAT LITTLE TART!

HOW COME, HOW COME HE NEVER PAINTED
A SILKSCREEN CHICKEN?
HE WAS PROBABLY TOO BUSY DOIN’ HIS BIG DICK-LICKIN’.
HE COLLECTED ALL KINDS OF 60S SHIT – WHAT-THE-FRICKIN’
HELL WAS WRONG WITH HIM? HE DID EVERYTHING ON A WHIM.

BUT HE NEVER, NEVER PAINTED A SILKSCREEN CHICKEN.
HE NEVER, NEVER PAINTS A SILKSCREEN CHICKEN.
NEVER, NEVER, EVER PAINTS A SILKSCREEN CHICKEN.

12. HE AIN'T HEAVY HE'S A GROUPIE

LOOK! IN THE BIRD AND IN THE SKY!
IT’S A REALLY ATTRACTIVE YOUNG GUY!
YOU’RE LONELY, WHY DON’T YOU GO SAY “HI”?
THE WORST HE COULD DO IS STOP FLYING.
SEE, NOW, DON’T YOU SEE THAT WASN’T SO BAD.
NOW YOU’RE GONNA BE A MOTHER,
HE’S GONNA BE HIS OWN DAD.
NOW YOU CAN BE HAPPY –
THAT MEANS YOU PROBABLY WON’T BE SAD.

LOOK! NOT SO DEEP IN THE WOODS!
YOUR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN HAVE BEEN FOUND DEAD!
WHOEVER DID THIS IS FUCKED-UP IN THE HEAD!
I BET IT WAS A SATANIC CULT, OR A WORKER FROM CLUB MED.
DON’T CRY, DON’T CRY, ‘CAUSE THE GUY IS GONNA FRY.
AND IF HE DON’T, THERE’S ALWAYS VIGILANTISM.
GO ON HOME, RELAX A BIT,
RELEASE THE TENSION WITH A HUGE ORGASM.
HE AIN’T HEAVY, HE’S MY GROUPIE!
LOOK AT HIS EYES, A GLOWING ORANGE-RED.
HE COULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
YEAH, HE HATES KIDS,
BUT HE THINKS THEY’RE DISEASED.

LOOK! IN THE COURTHOUSE IS A PROSECUTOR.
HE’S THE SURROGATE EXECUTIONER.
YOU’RE DEPRESSED,
WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
OR WE COULD GO TO DISCO, AND GET RIGHT DOWN.
NOW YOU’RE GONNA BE OKAY, THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
LET’S GO KICK A DEMOCRAT RIGHT IN THE ASS.

LOOK! NOT SO DEEP IN JAIL!
IT’S YOUR HUSBAND, THE CRIMI-NAIL.
WHOEVER THOUGHT HE WAS THE MURDERING KIND.
WHAT HE DID WAS NOT TOO KIND.
BUT LOOK HONEY HE’S OH SO HANDSOME.
WHY DON’T YOU HELP HIM BREAKOUT?
YOU COULD GO DANCIN’.

HE AIN’T CLUMSY, HE’S A DANCER!
HE’S QUITE NATURAL! HE’S A LOVER!
YOU MIGHT GET BUSTED, YOU MIGHT GET HIGH!
YOU MIGHT GET DIVORCED,
FIND THE MEANING OF LIFE!

13. MY HEAD SAYS ONE THING BUT MY HEART HAS STOPPED

AND I SAID, “UNCLE,” AND HE LET GO.
IT WAS SNOWING RIGHT OUTSIDE.
A TREE WAS GROWING IN THE LIVING ROOM.
IT MIGHT HAVE HAD TERMITES.

I’M NO EXPERT. I’M NO EXPERT.
THIS IS NOT A TEXTBOOK CASE AND
I’M NO EXPERT. BUT I THINK HE IS DEAD.
I’M PRETTY SURE YOUR DAD IS DEAD,
YEAH I’M PRETTY SURE HE’S GONE FOR GOOD,
AFTER ALL YOU CUT OFF HIS HEAD,
JUST BECAUSE YOU COULD.

AND WE SAID, “ASSWIPE,” BECAUSE RIVERS DID, TOO.
AND THEN OUR LUNGS WERE FILLED WITH GLUE.
I KNOW WHO DID IT – DO YOU?
CUCKOO, CUCKOO.

I’M NO GENIUS. I’M NO GENIUS.
THIS IS NOT WHAT THEY TAUGHT US IN SCHOOL AND
I’M NO GENIUS. BUT I THINK HE’S BEEN SHOT.
GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY YOU’VE GOT.
OR I’LL LET THE POOR SAP ROT.
GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY YOU’VE GOT.
AND WE’LL EMBALM HIM WITH OUR SNOT.
TIE HIM UP IN AN UMBILICAL KNOT.
LET HIM SLEEP IN A COMFORTABLE COT.
BURY HIM IN A NEW PARKING LOT.
RESURRECT HIM WITH A COOL ROBOT.
LET HIM MAKE LOVE TO A GIRL NAMED DOT.
DON’T YOU KNOW IT – SHE’S REALLY HOT?
JUST LOOK AT ALL THESE NOTES THAT I JOT.
HOW COULD YOU NOT?
LET’S GO SMOKE SOME POT.
THEN WATCH THE WORLD TEETER-TOT.
WHAT? YOU’RE MY YACHT.

14. THE SMALL WOODS WHERE I MET MYSELF

G CHORD! C CHORD! G CHORD!
C CHORD! E CHORD! C CHORD!
G CHORD! G CHORD! G CHORD!
G CHORD!

THE SMALL WOODS WHERE I MET MYSELF,
AN ETHEREAL EXPERIENCE.
THE SMALL WOODS WHERE I MET MYSELF,
UNREAL.
THE SMALL WOODS WHERE I MET MYSELF,
AN INDESCRIBABLE LANDSCAPE.
THE SMALL WOODS WHERE I MET MYSELF,
FRUITS ON THE TREES,
WOMEN ON THEIR KNEES.
AND YOUNG KIDS LEARNING TO RIDE THEIR BIKES.

THE FOOD PLACE WHERE I FIRST WORKED,
MONOTONOUS.
THE FOOD PLACE WHERE I FIRST WORKED,
NEVER GOT THE ORDERS RIGHT.
THE FOOD PLACE WHERE I FIRST WORKED,
AND THE MONEY WASN’T EVEN GOOD!
THE FOOD PLACE WHERE I FIRST WORKED,
BURGERS ON THE KILL.
PEOPLE MOVIN’ IN FOR THE GRILL.
AND YOUNG KIDS BEING TAUGHT
TO BE CONSUMERS.

G CHORD! AM CHORD! C CHORD!
BM CHORD! E CHORD! C CHORD!
G CHORD! G CHORD! G CHORD!
G CHORD!

15. LA LA LA LA (LA LA LA LA)

DO YOU REMEMBER HAPPIER TIMES
HANGIN’ OUT WITH BUSTA RHYMES?
THE EGOMANIAC WITH
A THOUSAND CONSTELLATIONS
TATTOOED ON HIS BACK.
HE WAS ALWAYS WHIPPING IT OUT.

DO YOU REMEMBER SHADES OF GRAY
WHICH PROCLAIMED THEY WERE PROUDLY GAY?
WITH THE FIRE OF LIFE STABBING MY BACK
JUST LIKE A BRAND NEW TROPHY WIFE.
OH, THEY WERE ALWAYS PAINTING MOODY DAYS.

OH NO! THAT FAT CAT ESCAPED!
I HOPE HE’S NOT GONNA GO AND GET RAPED!
I WISH AT LEAST HE WAS WEARING HIS CAPE.
THE LAST THING HE ATE WAS AN ORANGE GRAPE.
FOR CHRIST’S SAKE,
THAT ONE TAKES THE CAKE.

DO YOU REMEMBER SINGING LA, LA, LA, LA
WHILE YOU WERE BUYING A BRAND NEW CANDELABRA?
THOSE WERE THE GOOD OLD DAYS WITH THE GOOD OLD GUYS,
BACK WHEN THEY STILL HAD THE FIRE IN THEIR EYES.

OH NO! THAT FAT CAT HAS ESCAPED, AH!
AND HE’S STOLEN MY FAVORITE HONDA!
LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!
OH, BRILLIANT CANDELABRA.

16 LIVE WIRE CHOMP

17. DEAD DEAD DEAD

THAT WOMAN IS DEAD DEAD DEAD
SHE WAS CARRYING SOME BREAD BREAD BREAD
TO HER HUSBAND SHE WAS WED WED WED
BETTER CALL THE MED. MED. MED.
PUT THE KIDS TO BED BED BED
YOU’LL HAVE TO SAY THEIR MOMMY IS DEAD
THEY WILL SOON EMBALM HER HEAD
AND THEN THE HUSBAND SAID:

“OH MY HOPE IS DEAD DEAD DEAD,
I DON’T WANT TO EAT THIS BREAD,
TO THIS WOMAN I WAS WED WED WED,
I’M IN SHOCK, SO CALL THE MED.
I’LL PUT THE KIDS TO BED BED BED.
IN THE MORNING, TELL THEM MOMMY IS DEAD
I JUST WANT TO HOLD HER HEAD
AND BID HER FAREWELL.”

“DON’T WORRY SHE’S NOT GOING TO HELL,
THEY’LL EMBALM HER SO SHE DOES NOT SMELL,
I WONDER IF THE KIDS CAN TELL,
THAT THE LIFE OF MOMMY HAS FELL,
I HOPE THEY DON’T GO JUMP IN A WELL,
I HOPE THEIR LIVES CAN STILL BE SWELL,
I HOPE THEY DON’T HAVE TO APPLY THE GEL,
TO GIVE YOUR CHILDREN ELECTROSHOCK,”
SPOKE THE KINDLY POLICE CHIEF.

“NOW LISTEN HERE HERE HERE,
I KNOW YOU GUYS DRINK A LOT OF BEER,
BUT WHAT IF MY CHILDREN CAN HEAR?
I THINK IT’S BEST YOU GET OUT OF HERE!
I WILL CRY SO MANY A TEAR TEAR TEAR!
I WILL PROBABLY, TOO, DRINK SOME BEER BEER BEER!
I WILL GRIP THAT STEERING WHEEL,
AND DRIVE MYSELF INTO A TREE!”

“NOW NOW, YOU CAN’T GO DO THAT!
AFTER ALL, YOUR CHILDREN WOULD GET FAT!
AND AFTER ALL YOU’RE THE HEAD CAT!
YOUR FAMILY WOULD BE A BATHROOM MAT!
PAINT A PICTURE OF AN OIL VAT!
STEP ON THE GAS AND BLOW THIS PLACE RIGHT UP!
THIS IS SO TOTALLY HOPELESS!
THIS IS SO TOTALLY HOPELESS!
THIS IS SO TOTALLY HOPELESS!
I’M COMIN’ WITH YOU, TOO!
I’M GONNA DIE LIKE I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO!”

“AND WHAT WAY IS THAT GONNA BE?”
“I WANT SOME ONE TO RUN OVER ME.”
“WELL, I WASN’T GONNA DIE THAT WAY.”
“WELL, THEN I’M GONNA GO THE OTHER WAY.”
“WELL, OKAY.”
“I HOPE I SEE YOU SOON SOME OTHER DAY.”
“WELL THE FEELING’S MUTUAL.”
“I HOPE YOUR CHILDREN CAN STILL GO TO SCHOOL.”
“GET SOME THERAPY, CALM THOSE SUICIDAL
TENDENCIES DOWN.”
“NAH, I THINK I MUCH RATHER DROWN.”
“WELL, BYE-BYE!”

18. GO GO GO (DEAD DEAD DEAD REPRISE)